Common Ground

The American media has been feeding us a steady diet of stories of Christians being hateful, judgmental and intolerant. Sadly, there are plenty of folks out there who are just that. There are a lot of people who claim to be Christians, but do not represent us well. Are they a large group? As long as they get media coverage they could be a small minority of fanatical people haters - but the viewers would never know. All they see is the headline or the camera shot of shouting, picket waving Christians. I also know why they get on TV. It makes for a sensational story.

I have to admit, I get frustrated when I see people who say they speak for us - yet do not characterize the love of Christ. They dishonor Christ by their words and actions and bring dishonor to His church. Even more frustrating, what they represent is now being used by so many people as the reason why they would never become a Christian. “If that’s what a Christian is, I don’t want anything to do with it.” Do you know what I love to do when I hear someone say something like that to me? I agree with them. I agree with their view that there seems to be a lot of people out there who claim to be Christians and do not look much like Jesus. I agree with them that there have been horrible things done throughout history in the name of Christ. I love the look on their face when they discover that we have found common ground.

Finding common ground is a powerful way to begin a dialog and relationship with people who are not Christ-followers. We find common ground in our disdain for hypocrisy, injustice, intolerance and hatred.  I acknowledge and agree with their view that people shouldn’t be that way. That “Christians” shouldn’t be that way. We share common ground in our confusion that such behaviors don’t seem to fit with the life and teachings of Jesus. I love to watch as their preconceived ideas about me begin to shift.

The other area that we share common ground is our messy, mixed up lives. I have discovered that the more I share my own inconsistencies, frustrating habits, and stupid mistakes, the more people can identify with me. We share common ground. Building relationships like this requires humility, openness, honesty and transparency. Our job is to love people. A part of loving people is validating their view of Christianity, sharing your own mistakes and inconsistencies and living out an authentic relationship with God. The more common ground we share, the less people feel an “us vs. them” mentality, walls come down, dialog begins and relationships can be built. People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. I know it sounds a bit cliché, but it’s true.

Comments

[Scott Bradley]

There is a quick equation that I try to apply when I meet someone who is skeptical about my "Christian" worldview. It is this: Rules without Relationship leads to Rebellion. This is especially true with postmoderns. (I understand this completely because I have this tendency to rebel when others know what's right for me) Anyway, bottom line is if we are going to reach a fallen world it will take relationships built on trust. This starts with grace and then truth. John 1:14 speaks of Christ, who became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. Grace is unmerited favor where we do not receive what we deserve. In the world, people will look at messed up people, like dope fiends and sex addicts(all of these people sit next to us in church each Sunday) and say things like, "Yep, they got what they deserve. Prison, AIDS, broken families, STDs, yeah, let them rot in their sin." But Grace would say, "I know these consequences are painful but I am going to love you anyway." It's truly grace when we have a relationship with a person's heart and not their behavior. If we can truly join the Lord and what He is doing in the heart of another we will never see a person or group or a lifestyle the same again. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart, and if the Lord looks at the heart should we not also do the same? This is crucial. On another note. It seems as Christians when we speak the "truth" it always points to negative behavior or bad fruit in someone's life. Instead, I love the truth of God's longsuffering and His ability to see beyond our present circumstances. (Luke 22:31-34) His truth can be communicated in a negative, legalistic way, or it can be broadcast in love, which is how we are commanded to deliver it. "Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ." Eph.4:15

[John Newberry]

Thanks, Dennis for your comments. I have been reading the "No Perfect People Allowed" book and wholeheartedly agree with your assessment of needing to help people understand that not all Christians 'hate' those who are non-Christian. I purposely never put Christian oriented bumper stickers on my car for that reason. I don't want people lumping me together with the fanatical "you're going to hell" folks that the media portrays as being "Christian." And I also agree with what Scott said in his comments about loving a persons heart. I have been praying that God will give me the eyes to see past the outside into the inside where we are all the same-sinners that need what Jesus did on the cross to bridge the gap between us and a holy God.

[Lisa]

I have a friend that is always asking me why Christians behave "this way or that way" and can feel good about labeling themselves as Christians. I find myself saying that I can't answer for them, but I can only worry about myself and making sure that I am following Christ. It's easier for me to be concerned with my heart and making sure that I'm a Christ follower and represent Him out in the world where I can influence people! Praise God for grace and mercy!